I grew up in a family full of brothers, and contrary to what seems to be popular opinion when I first meet some people, I was not the “princess” of the family. I fought my way up, literally and metaphorically, and from an early age was determined to be able to do anything the boys were allowed to do. I tagged along on as many adventures as possible, learning sports ranging from basketball to American football, and amassing my own collection of tools, bruises and bragging rights. I had my girly side of playing house and dolls, but I took on some challenges just to prove that I was as tough and capable as any of the boys. Keeping on the same terms as my brothers became more complicated when I hit high school and sought independence, as my parents worried about where I was going, who I was with and when I would be home. I remember arguing that just because certain individuals in the world could make it an unsafe place to be a female did not mean I should be required to lock myself in at a certain hour out of fear – after all, how was the world going to change if we let them run it through news story intimidation?
I grew more stubborn about my ability to do anything regardless of my gender as I became older, despite gaining a little more realistic caution in the process. I’ve made my more gentlemanly guy friends upset on occasion because I insisted on carrying my bags while they go empty-handed or completing a more physical chore unaided as they stand and watch. Ironically, even with the “I can do it myself” attitude, I am a bit “old-fashioned”/traditional – I still believe it is the guys who should do the asking out for dates and I appreciate men who take the time to hold doors open for women.
I say all this to preface what I am about to say – that I have shied away from the word “feminist.” There are many women rights' leaders who I thank for the privileges that I now enjoy as an American citizen. However, I bought into the most negative connotations of “feminism,” which characterize it as an overbearing and overly aggressive approach to equal rights. This past week has given me a change in perspective though. I have come to realize that much like the words abolitionist, environmentalist, and pacifist, the label “feminist” is a sign of what you are willing to sacrifice for (or have already sacrificed for) and what you believe in. And just like those other words, positive or negative connotations can be given them – by your own actions and/or by others preconceived notions. I’ve come to realize to a much greater extent than before the strength and perseverance that is encompassed in the women’s empowerment movement.
I attended a few all-day meetings last week focused on the women’s political movement in Nigeria. Two of the days were a program run by the International Republican Institute (IRI), a DC based organization “advancing democracy worldwide.” The program was titled “Review of Women’s Political Participation in the 2011 Elections and Strategies Towards 2015.” Women candidates – some elected, some who had lost their bids and others who were contested in their election (meaning their case is currently before the tribunal) – along with some of the women political movement’s leaders, came together with the sole goal of forwarding women’s involvement in the political sphere. Out of all the meetings I have attended here, this one seemed the most useful and most productive. Time was spent discussing what went wrong, what could be changed, what activities needed to start now for 2015 elections.
In those two days, however, I gained a newfound respect for women, all they have done and all they are going to do. Some of these women had been through untold hell just to run for office. Despite maybe not even winning or being substituted by a male party member in the end, they were still at this meeting, determined to discuss election strategies for 2015. And for the most part, these are not the overly optimistic youth you would probably expect. These are women who have raised families and many who have personal stories from elections past. Several of them are likely around or over the retirement age of 60, but you would not guess it from the faces and energy of most of them. They know there is a long road ahead, but they are going to travel it and are working to mentor and encourage other women to join on the path as well.
There is currently a move in Nigeria to implement an affirmative action goal of 35% women in political offices. President Goodluck Jonathan has taken this mandate and appointed 13 female ministers to his cabinet, out of the 43 spots available (slightly short of 35% for those of you calculating, but efforts are being made at least). Most states however, have not domesticated this goal and therefore, it does not have the legal backing, nor the support of all local governments – the 2011 elections actually saw a drop in the number of women elected compared to 2007.
Much like the United States, people have differing views on affirmative action and even some active political women are not supportive of it as a way to increase their numbers in offices. I would guess the reluctance to support such action is partially due to affirmative action sometimes being portrayed as a handout. At the meetings I attended, however, it was reiterated several times that affirmative action was suppose to be a temporary tool to help women empowerment. They were not asking for electorate seats on a golden platter, rather they were asking for fair consideration as qualified candidates. It was even stated that if a woman was just in it for the money, she should step aside and let others knew how to do the job take her spot. These women are asking to be heard, to have the chance to democratically represent a population that is 49% female.
The women are well aware that they will be watched and most critically judged. Some of the comments emphasized this – that the lives they lead must be worth of imitation. They know what it takes to win – they are aware of the need to invest in your constituents, be involved with your community, and engage the support of your party members. However, they were aware of something men do not have to consider as much – they have to prove themselves to give validity to women candidates and that proving of self has to start before they even step into office. Since men have throughout history been considered the natural leaders for such jobs, they are not questioned nor scrutinized as women are. A woman is quizzed on her clothes and hairstyles and questions are raised about whether she is neglecting her duties as a mother and/or wife, whether it would not be better if she stayed at home.
I will not deny men receive their fair share of criticism and face challenges of their own. But they are much more likely to be judged on their actual merit and individual performance in office than a woman. After a scandal, no one says, “Well, that is it, men can’t do the job;” whereas the question of if a woman can do the job is raised before she even announces her bid for office. Women will do the job correctly and they may even do it better than their male counterparts – not necessarily because they are superior to males, but because they must do the job better to claim their place in society; and not just themselves, but for their sisters as well.
I’ve stopped laughing at the “because she’s a woman” jokes that I heard growing up. When you realize what women have fought through just to be accepted as women, such jokes are no longer funny. They just imply that in order to be accepted in the male dominated world, you must become like a man – but even if you do that, you may be called a overly aggressive. I believe in women. I believe that their voices need to be heard alongside the men. I believe they have an unmatched strength and fortitude and can succeed at their chosen courses. I believe that when a job is open, a candidate should be considered on his or her respective qualifications. I believe the genders should not be disregarded – there is great beauty and strength in each – but I believe that for an equal society to exist, both genders must be represented.
If all this makes me a feminist (which, at least by my own definition, it does), then I will proudly claim the label. Here in Nigeria, these women have decided to take a stand. Party lines were put aside and networking was strongly encouraged. Women need to support each other because it is easy to fall into the mentality that you must go it on your own and prove yourself in the boy’s world. But with a population of almost 50/50, it is just as much a women’s world. And there is great value in both sets of voices being heard.
I have desperately tried to prove myself all my life, but it occurs to me now that I have been trying to prove myself in the world of men, rather than prove myself as the woman I am. Come to think of it, in my fight for equal consideration as my brothers, I’ve been a feminist in some ways since a young age. However, I’m learning to give up my bags and step aside when there is a guy around to change the flat tire – not because I couldn’t do the job, but because I am learning to let men be men through their protective strength, while I discover my own strengths as a woman.
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